M&M Overload

M&M Overload
Originally uploaded by crysta_d

I'm not too sure if Monkey is throwing up or devouring the packet of M&M's, it is the season to be jolly and stuff yourself silly but that's just ridiculous. The bag is bigger than him...Monkey you're going to get fat & January is just going to be an uphill struggle...

Working

Working
Originally uploaded by crysta_d

Monkey is back in the UK & hard at work.

I guess he couldn't afford to go overseas this year. Never mind Monkey, no doubt you will be back on your travels at some point very soon!

Yes they do make laptops for Monkeys!

The local pub

Well in true English style & culture Monkey has found a pub & planted himself there! Monkey appears to be eating the local cuisine, although it appears to have the German flag on it, either Monkey got bored of Denmark & went to Germany for the day (or longer) or the Danes really don't like there own cuisine/culture, who knows! Nice pub Monkey, don't forget to bring back some Danish beers & anything else you find.

Culture in Aarhus

The Monkester appears to have been culturing it up in Aarhus! Here are the latest photos of his visit. The Monkey appears to have stopped by ARos, one of the largest museums in all the world...well Northern Europe. I'm not too sure why he went there, but I guess there's not much going on in Aarhus if that's all he's found in the past 2 days as newsworthy!

All I have to say is, Monkey, can you bring back some of that great weather you seem to be getting and does that door lead to Dr Who's lab of fun?

ARoS has everything from 18th century art to Modern day art, large boys & freaky alien women so I guess it suits Monkey multi personalities. No ladies & gents, it is not the sequel of the Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman or Boy in this case. It looks like its worth checking it out...there's nothing else to do in

Aarhus.

Getting to know your area

Monkey seems to be settling in or more like finding his way round. His latest email said he was hooking up with some Danes for some Danish bacon & pastry! Original!

Well at least we know he's safe. We can only assume Monkey is staying in Aarhus & judging by the photo weather its cold or not the sun is out which is a bonus.

Itchy Feet

IMG_8216
Originally uploaded by crysta_d

You guessed it ladies & gents, he couldn't stay at home that long & he is in Aarhus it appears. As Monkey managed to slip by security, myself and his friends we have no idea of the time or date that he left and how long he will be going for.

We received the posted photo on Sunday & have not heard word from his since.

I will keep you posted Monkey followers!

Back in the Big Smoke

The fun has to end at some point. Well at least the part with sun, sea, sand & surf. Monkey has returned to cold weather, rain, wind & pollution...home sweet home. Monkey is now living in London Bridge by himself in a two bedroom flat overlooking Tower Bridge (right). He has plans to travel around New York & Europe at some point, I am not sure when or where exactly but due to the credit crunch he's had to tighten his belt & be a bit more selective on where he wants to go next.

Monkey has hinted at going to Brussels, Denmark & New York in the next couple of months, but Monkey needs to do a bit of work first in London before he moves on, I will keep you posted of his movements.

Last day

The last day & Monkey has not chosen to hit the waves he has decided to be a spectator to the beach frolics. After seeing what Monkey has been up who could blame him for not keeping in contact with his every day activities. Its unfortunately a 23 hour flight back for him & a walk on the not so wild side.

I will be following up on Monkey's highs & lows & see whether he will be coping with the London life...there again there may be only so much you can take of sun, sea & sand but there again I couldn't imagine it myself.

From Ocean's Grove beach...where it all began for Monkey, he sees the sun set moves on & catches his flight back to the big smoke.

No one puts baby in the corner

This is Monkey after the 50 mile journey...he's looking a bit green but there again who can blame him? At least he made it in one piece...budding dare devils do not try anything Monkey does, he is a trained professional.

It appears in this snap Monkey was put in the corner, probably for the best...he needed the rest. Tomorrow is the beach, hopefully he'll be well enough to hop onto a board. Tomorrow is another day.

Touch luck

It looks like Monkey got the short end of the stick...I guess it was cold outside. Never mind Monkey, it all goes with the rock & roll life style...riding on the bonnet of the car that is.

Readers, during the car ride Monkey did not get injured or run over & managed to survive the 50 mile car journey...that's some endurance test. I guess we now know Monkey goes to the gym or at least that he is naturally athletic if he managed to hold on for that long. Good one Monkey!

Rock & Roll

I think Monkey may be going through a mid life crisis...cruising with the boys in a red car, what ever next...where are the hired gals & the sweets & champagne?

After calling Monkey up on the whole coming out of the closet thing he appears to have dropped the coffee culture & taken up fast cars, women & the need to watch Australian football...cover up me thinks!

Hats off to the Monkey, act or not he's been making the most down under and I am truly jealous, shame about the weather boys, was it really warm enough to have the top down?

Sundowner

Here is the latest snap shot of Monkey with what seems to be the lady boy he picked up. Monkey has said there are no hard feelings between lady boy koala & that they are now friends....interesting. Monkey, are you coming out? Who would know?

As you can see Koala is not sporting his frock today & appears to be less forward than the night at the pool bar.

Personally I think it's quite suspect, watch this space...

Eeyore comes to Australia

Monkey has once again made another friend. One morning, on Bondi beach Monkey came across the infamous blue donkey, it was Eeyore!

Eeyore's life of retirement over the past few decades wasn't everything it was cracked up to be & as a result Eeyore decided to escape to sunny location, can you really blame him? In the UK Eeyore was the side kick, the pessimistic grey donkey with nothing but Tigger to keep him company. As you can guess, with Tigger & Eeyore being two very different personalities, the Christopher Robin's house hold was not a peaceful one.

Many people believe Eeoyre's real life depression & pessimistic view of life was down to him being in the constant shadow of Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore did not give a comment but he did say the Australian way of living best suited him. Eeyore did not look any happier, but that may have something to do with Eeyore never using the muscles to smile & therefore almost impossible to crack a smile!

Eeyore & Monkey were last seen together shooting pool & picking up koala bears...Eeyore got lucky & Monkey somehow ended up with a lady boy. Its is rumoured Eeyore is now now living with the koala & is very happy, well as happy as he can be. Monkey was said to be recovering from the trauma of picking up a lady boy...I guess it has to happen once in your life! :)

One with the animals

Many wonder why Monkey lives the life that he does & people wonder why he is the way he is, the truth of the matter is he has a chip on his should. Monkey would rather be 6ft 2 rather than a 3 inch Monkey, however, last month Monkey reported a personal break through, he discovered himself!

As you can see in the photo right, Monkey went back to his roots & met his ancestors. Many can not move forward in life without coming confronting their 'chip', in Monkey's case visiting the very foundations, the essence, the past of what makes up Monkey, the Australian Museum...who said Rock stars can't be spiritual & be at peace with themselves...?

Born again Monkey...okay maybe not in the cult/religious sense, Monkey with a new perspective.

Beach bum

Living the life of a beach bum has been hard work for Monkey, but someone had to step up. Monkey has been inspired by a friend, who for now will be referred to has Mr B, to give us a glimpse into what he has been doing for the last month, so ladies & gents I bring you the the Monkey chronicles...

With Sydney coming into its spring/summer season, Monkey has been checking out surfers paradise, Manly, Bondi, Bronte & Tamarama beach. Some may say its a hard life, 30 Celsius, waiting for the right moment to catch the wave, working on the tan, beach babes & then wiping out, Monkey takes it all in his stride! You have to admire the three inch squirt. Beach bum for life, well for a month, he has Lemon Ruski sun downers & sometimes the odd Fosters, one can only wish life was easy every day...for Monkey it is.

Montreal Mayhem

IMG_7206
Originally uploaded by crysta_d

Pied De Couchon...a French Cafe in Montreal, foie gras with a glass of red and glass of water and lovely staff...what more could Monkey want? After walking all over Montreal he found nothing that took his fancy apart from this cafe...he's into eating things that are 100 times bigger than him.

Being a typical English Monkey his French was limited to 'Je m'apelle Monkey' and 'J'habit England', as you can guess he didn't get very far.

G'Day Mate

IMG_6191, originally uploaded by crysta_d.

Can you now guess which county he's in and look he's made a new friend that's his height also an animal.

Everyone will be glad to know he managed to kick his habit and has chosen to live the life as a rock star or a travelling super star....he is living life in Oean's Grove, Melbourne and getting to know the locals while topping up on his tan...can you really blame him, he is originall from the UK.

Cool Dude

IMG_6057, originally uploaded by crysta_d.

Monkey is chilling and relaxing, trying to blend in with the local folk...guess what country he's in?

Finding a friend

A friend in need

Our young Monkey has found a friend. Its almost like a scene of the Christmas Carol and little Timmy. This gentleman here has saved Monkey from himself and teaching him the way of the world. You will be glad to know Monkey is back on the road of recovery and is certainly proving that he is more than capable. It has taken sometime hence the quietness on the blog but it has proven to be worth the wait. Monkey will soon be heading to Denmark at the end of this month, so watch this space. Monkey is back & he's not planning to slip up again. With his new best friend it has also allowed him to play wing man and to have a wing man when it comes to picking up lady friends. True its not all about the women, monkey and fame and so Monkey's friend has encouraged him to play a bit more sport, explore and try new things and be a piece with one self. Put your hands together for Monkey and is amazing recovery from previous events.

Hedonism

Hedonism...

Off the rails, we think so, here's Monkey riding the banana & having a smoke. Until Monkey cleans up his act Monkey Global are unable to report any of Monkey's travels despite the demand from the fans, we hope you understand that Monkey's (right) behavior is not & will not be tolerated (we personally think he needs female company). The riding the banana is somewhat acceptable but his smoking, drinking & drugs is everything the Monkey Global is against. You never know with our fellow whether he's going to come back as a woman or take back a prostitute. Monkey this is your only warning, clean up or get cut from Monkey Global!

Bostonite

The Beer in Hand

So after all is said & done from Monkey's previous misbehavior of course Monkey finds some other way of getting up to no good! Here is Monkey at the beginning of the day at The Bell in Hand Tavern, Samuel Adams is his first order of the day, unfortunately due to his recent brushes with the media and his PR company insisting on drug tests every other day Monkey drinks himself under the table and out of the bar at 8am the next day! Go BIG or go home I guess...?

After a night out boozing Monkey decided to go for some food, but only the best for Monkey, even during his darkest hours he knows how to pick them. Monkey is an animal of taste!

Monkey ends up in the Union Oyster Bar: Union Oyster House, established in 1826, even after little sleep and all day bender Monkey waited patiently until they opened at 11am. One can be impressed not just by its oysters but its longevity, it is one of the longest serving restaurants in the whole of Boston. If that isn't impressive enough, the building its self has been standing for over 250 years, so as well as Monkey filling his belly he also manages to learn something new.

Here at Monkey World Global we believe everyone is responsible for their own behavior however we do not endorse Monkey's acts outside Monkey Global's contracted time with him, if you have any complaints email monkeypr@monkeyglobal.com.

Like a duck to water...

Next to the white house Monkey was too busy being stared out by the duck...yes he's quacking mad & about to take Monkey down...Monkey made a quick escape but missed Obama on his helicopter.

Monkey tried to break into the White house with very little success, probably for the best.

Apology to the fans

Statement by Monkey;

'I am very ashamed of my behavior. This is my official apology to the world, family, friends, fans and sponsors. I am on the road of recovery and will be making sure that I do not slip. What I did in the Westin Hotel in DC was not a proud moment for me and I will be making a personal apology to the hotel. The rock 'n' roll life still does not have to involve drugs, I have now realized the error of my ways and how much my fans mean to me. Many thanks to EmD and my friends & family who are supporting me through this tough time.'

Living it up...breaking news

Celeb high life
Yes you saw this here first...like with many celebrities they have their down falls. Kate Moss, Drew Barrymore, Wacko Jacko...in this case Monkey snorting cocaine.

This report is not to glorify Monkey as a hero but to make him an example to all you kids out there; sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll can result in the downfall and the lack of the support from your sponsors and the loss of respect from your fans. After 'Living it up' post, this picture was leaked - it appears he was having far too much fun, Monkey was arrested soon after this picture and was stuck in jail for 48 hrs before he was bailed out by our lawyers.

Its not cool, its not clever...do not take drugs.

Thank you to our friends at the Westin and Washington DC police.

Seafood Diavolo

Salty Dog

As well as sampling the Chowder Boston is so well known for...Monkey also sampled the Seafood Diavolo. There was enough to feed 3 generations of Monkey and still have enough for lunch the following day. Forget your diet...although to be fair you do not come to the U.S of A to diet. Although good eats are hard to find and America is not known for its culinary experience, Boston is definitely on the food map. Once you've found a gem, its worth appreciating, revisiting and sampling once and a while. Salty Dog is Boston is a must...and the bottle of wine wasn't bad either according to M!

Monkey approval 'Monkeyilicious'.

The 5 sins!

With the new world it gives birth to new sins
(Monkey man's evils)
Monkey's rant;

'In this park it is not see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil...they basically take all the fun out of the park & make you think you are in a cemetery. In this park I am surprised they even allow you to breathe.

No smoking, no eating/drinking, no cycling, no skating and the absurdest no, no out of the lot - no running! You might as well not call it a park...its a cemetery!'

are you looking at me?

In Washington DC Monkey decide to make friends...unfortunately the cop was having none of it. At least the horse showed Monkey some attention. After checking out the White House, the Washington Monument and saying hi to a few ducks Monkey thought he would mingle with the animal world - not quite one of this own but horse is furry and was up for a smooch!

Living it up

Living the high life?

Some would say Monkey lives the high life...that's just the way he rolls. Here is a picture of Monkey in the Westin Hotel in Washington DC, he is waiting for a phone call from a lucky lady he met next to the Monument building.

Later he is still waiting next to the phone, I'm guessing his date blew him off...better luck next time. Its a bit of a step up from the hotel he stayed in when on the way to Niagara falls...still managed to work his charm on the concierge and got a 50% discount on his room. Monkey may not be a Casanova but he's definitely a wheeler dealer!

Eyes bigger than his erm body!

Who ate who first

And who said the little man didn't have an appetite? Well I think we can see in this photo that his more than just an appetite but clearly Monkey has another stomach and another him going spare to fit that beauty into him.

Here is Monkey in Boston in a little restaurant called Atlantic Fish on 761 Boylston Street. The food definitely made a little impact on Monkey, soon after he hit the gym and a month later all he had was the chowda and a half to work off. Monkey was aiming for the Kate Moss look - obviously he didn't get too far - better luck next time for the London fashion show Monkey...off to the next city and where willl Monkey be next?

Vacancy...

Monkey is in some creepy hotel between New York and on route to Niagara Falls (US side). Monkey thinks he’s somewhere in the garden state and thanks to some cheap package deal Monkey finds himself in a hotel room that echoes Hostel & Vacancy (horror movies of hotel’s in the middle of nowhere and mass murderers on the loose). The room’s odor is that of an old people’s home, musty and stale, if you didn’t know any better (although we don’t), you would think there were dead bodies beneath the floor boards…Monkey’s solution is to drink his worries away and hope he passes out before the midnight massacre occurs…or before he loses more sleep over nothing!

On the edge of reason...

Despite Monkey's trips to more exciting parts of the world, Monkey found the Getty Museum particular interesting...here he is living life dangerously.

Monkey likes to think he lives life on the edge - here he is at the Getty Museum...thinking he's the man! Sitting on the wall near a garden maze does not constitute as death defying or remotely impressive. Oh dear.

OK, Monkey has stepped it up a gear and he has now decided to sit on a wall over Cactus...great work! When are you going to be wrestling a UCF wrestler...that's when the world will be impressed. Small things please small minds, one would say Monkey is smaller than the smallest man, I would have to concur. All we need now is someone to push him off.

Monkey & Culture: Duck to Water!

Monkey thinks he's a culture individual...he also thinks he's human! Here he is at the Getty Museum is Los Angeles. What a great day to go...sun is shining, blue skies, very little crowds and surrounded by art & culture. The Getty Museum is one of the more interesting museums with something for everyone and a great spot to go for the day for a picnic on the green. All Monkey needed to do was to crush a cup of wine!

Asserting his authority on the CN Tower

The Monkey is a big fan of having his picture taken near phallic buildings, he finds his manly hood reaffirmed and his presence is justified when he's surrounded by tall buildings! Here he is in small Toronto town next to the CN tower.

Despite expecting snow, rain & freezing temperatures he found the weather quite pleasant during the October Month, he was made a honorary Canadian on Canada's Independence Day. Go Monkey!

By the way, yes the Canadian's are as nice as they've been rumored to be...just like the guy from Due South! (For those who do not know what it is, google it!)

Hitch hiking a ride

What you need to understand about Monkey is he is all about cutting costs & saving money so on the odd occasion Monkey will hitch a ride with anyone...one would say he puts himself at risk of being robbed, killed, anal probing, abduction or being made a sex slave to that of the yetis...I say as long as you have your wits about you every place can seem as safe or as dangerous as the next place...I'd say with anal probing vaseline may be needed as Monkey is only small.

Here is Monkey hitching a ride with one of the tourists in the area...riding the pocket, snug as a bug in a rug and on his way to first location.

In short, Monkey is cheap!

What is Monkey upto?

Let me introduce you to Monkey...he is an overly ambitious explorer who likes walks in the park, reading horror novels and eating good food and drinking wine. Do not underestimate his sedated look on his face...its an expression of a monkey of mischief and high flying dreams.

Monkey is 2 years old 4 months, he was born from a PG tips box in Brummy land (Birmingham) around October 2006 and has since been traveling the globe and going where no other monkey has been before.

This blog is of his adventures, encounters & weird & wacky experiences. People say he is too ambitious, but I just think he aims for for the stars. With enough will power and passion Monkey will reach the sky and maybe further, who am I to step in his way.

Monkey would describe himself as impulsive, far from a jungle animal, mischievous & above all charming...with the ladies!

Enjoy & follow monkey!